I’ve enrolled in a teacher leadership course and this week’s assignment is to write a reflection on our reading and experience thus far. I figured blogging about it would be a good way to get my reflection started. I’m not sure if I want share all of my reflections with the group.
Especially the fact that I am seriously questioning if my skin is thick enough to take it.
I was discussing some of the work we’re doing with a group of teachers from across the district. There were the expected questions about this new program, but there was also a hefty dose of negativity. One of the readings we were assigned discussed negativity from colleagues as one of the roadblocks to teacher leadership, so I thought I expected it, but when it actually happened, I discovered that I’m really not.
One person was particularly venomous in knocking the program as well as several of the members, saying “A lot of the people in the program aren’t real leaders, they just like to think they are.” So now of course I’m wondering if that’s what people think of ME. “Who does she think she is?” It was hard enough to build up the confidence to apply for this. I mean, it does feel a little prideful to step up and say I think I’d be a good leader. It’ll take virtually nothing to convince me that I’m not good enough.
So there it is. Can I really do this? I can do the work. But can I deal with the critics? Do I have what it takes to let those unproductive comments roll off my back? I’m not totally sure…